The drive home

So I got back from krystle's place about an hour ago. She was having her new bf Joey over for a movie and wanted me to chaperone. Luckily it wasn't too bad as last time in terms of "third wheel" problems =P. But I'll not get into that, because the title of this post is not "krystle's new boyfriend Joey".

So on the drive home I was cycling through a few burnt cd's I had and an older song that I don't listen to much anymore came on. The song's lyrics really impacted me.

When everything is wrong
The day has passed and nothing's done
And the whole world seems against me
When I'm rolling in my bed, there's a storm in my head
I'm afraid of sinking in despair.

CHORUS:

Teach me, Lord to have faith
In what you're bringing me will
Change my life and bring you glory &

There on the storm I am learning to let go
Of the will that I so long to control
There may I be in your arms eternally
I thank you, Lord, you are the calmer of the storm.

You rebuke the wind and the waves
Once again I find I'm amazed & the power of your will
Cuz I'm a child of little faith
I feel the wind and forget your grace
And you say, "Peace, be still."

There on the storm I am learning to let go
The white wave's high, it's crashing o'er the deck
And I don't know where I go
Where are you Lord, is my ship going down?
The mast is gone so throw the anchor
Should I jump and try to swim to land?

There on the storm, teach me God to understand
Of the Will that I just cannot control
There may I see all you love protecting me
I thank you Lord, you are the calmer of the storm.

-Calmer of the Storm, Downhere

The past two or three months for me have pretty much been full of more low-points than high ones. I don't quite know what it is, but it's been difficult to actually get back into the swing of things this year, i've just felt really down I guess. Little things have a habbit of getting to me, and it's not good. Stuff that goes on at school, stuff with friends, family, stuff that happens at home, things people say out loud or whisper under their breath, I dunno, it all just piles up and weighs me down. It gets hard a lot and sometimes, foolish it is, I feel like I'm alone through it all. I tell myself lies which I know not to be true, and yet end up convincing myself that they are true.

I don't even know where i'm going with this, nor why i'm doing it, and it's getting late so I'll stop. L8rs all